If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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