So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
