If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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