Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
