I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
