I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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