Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Randomize
