Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize