I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
