You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
