the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
tell me about the fingering
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize