You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I've blown a few things in my day
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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