Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
