just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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