We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
