Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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