He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
