I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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