He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I lost the right to judge tonight
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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