as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
