She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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