if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
