Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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