All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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