I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
