Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
