Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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