When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
