Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
