Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The adults are the big ones right?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
