Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just puked most of my soul out..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
