She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
