So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
