omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
40s are totally the cure
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
