Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize