awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
