Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
