Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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