Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
