whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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