Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
