There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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