if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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