i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
