you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
