dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
