my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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