y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
