If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
