At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
