Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
