We're like a lot better than the average bears
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
