i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
