So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
