why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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