Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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